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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27107002">kill me once, kill me twice</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxy_of_pi/pseuds/galaxy_of_pi'>galaxy_of_pi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Spies Are Forever - Talkfine/Tin Can Brothers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, a gunshot mention, although ending might not be canon, bananas are evil, basically canon, i feel like it is though, idk - Freeform, informant is just mentioned he isn't really a character, not graphic, not graphic though, so back on the angst!, there are a few blood mentions, this is very very lightly edited, youll understand if you read it</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 16:20:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>873</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27107002</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxy_of_pi/pseuds/galaxy_of_pi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone that Curt had cared about died because of him. First it was his younger brother-- Curt was nineteen at the time, his brother fourteen, and an accident had taken him away in less than a minute. He was there, and then he was gone. Curt’s father had died not long after from illness, and though he had mourned for him too, that loss was nothing like the loss of his brother. Soon after, he joined the agency.</p><p>The first time his mother was kidnapped, he cried when they finally found her. He didn’t really have friends in the agency, and most of his family was dead. He couldn’t lose her, and he vowed that he would keep everyone he loved about safe. He wouldn’t lose anyone else.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Owen Carvour &amp; Agent Curt Mega, Owen Carvour/Agent Curt Mega</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>kill me once, kill me twice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is very lightly edited and doesn't have a super good plot and the ending is random because why not</p><p>ending is from something in the youtube comments section that i thought was funny</p><p>please comment, hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Everyone that Curt had cared about died because of him. First it was his younger brother-- Curt was nineteen at the time, his brother fourteen, and an accident had taken him away in less than a minute. He was there, and then he was gone. Curt’s father had died not long after from illness, and though he had mourned for him too, that loss was nothing like the loss of his brother. Soon after, he joined the agency.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were four times that he almost lost his mom. The first was when he was on his first mission, and soon after he escaped from an enemy compound, the box of nuclear plans clutched in his hand, he received a message telling him that someone had taken his mother from her safe house. It was a week before they found her, and was probably the most stressful week of his life at that point. He wasn’t allowed to join the search as she was taken because of him, and so spent the week pacing around Cynthia’s office, or failing to get work done in his apartment. Each sound he heard outside made him feel a spark of hope that she had returned, but it was always someone else.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Curt cried when they finally found her, injured but alive. He didn’t really have friends in the agency, and most of his family was dead. He couldn’t lose her, and he vowed that he would keep everyone he loved about safe. He wouldn’t lose anyone else.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next three times he almost lost her were just as bad as the first time. He never knew which could be the last, never knew if this was it. He had thought that the terror of losing her would be the worst fear he had, but that was before his first partner, and long before Owen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His first partner was an older man who took him under his wing, taught him tricks and secrets, and made him into the great Agent Curt Mega. And then a stray bullet that Curt had failed to spot ended it all. They had gotten away, uninjured, with the information they needed, and were convinced it was a fully successful mission, but then there was a sudden rush of air, and the older spy was sinking to his knees, staring at the growing bloodstain on his shirt. Curt had spun around, cleanly disposing of the attacker, and falling to the ground next to his mentor, convinced he could save him. But he was already still, with no life left in him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Curt had stayed on the ground next to him, the blood slick under his fingers. He was alone. The other man had been shot right in front of him, and he had failed to protect him. In the end, it was his fault that his friend was dead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Curt had resisted working with Owen when he was first assigned. He didn’t need a partner. He had been working fine on his own, and he couldn’t handle being the reason another partner was dead. The night that he finally broke down and told Owen what had happened to his previous partner was the night that they finally understood each other, and became friends.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Losing Owen was the worst thing that had ever happened to Curt. It had taken years, but he had finally trusted Owen when he said that he knew Curt wouldn’t ever let him down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For four years, all he could focus on was that anyone that trusted him, he inevitably let down and got them killed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Owen was back. And with his return, came the death of the Informant, yet another person who had followed him to their death. But all he could see was Owen, Owen who had let him think he was dead. But, as he realized when he stared into Owen’s eyes, no longer seeing the man he knew, the real Owen was dead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even knowing that the Owen he was killing wasn’t his Owen, he was still killing his lover. Maybe the other times he could absolve himself of the guilt, but not this time. Curt looked into his eyes as he pulled the trigger, knowing he had to see this through to the very end. He saw the familiar bloodstain, saw the body crumple, and, like all those years ago with his first partner, sat on the ground, holding his partner’s body and sobbing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-----</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Curt sighed as he heard the phone ring. In the past week, his entire world had been flipped around and then destroyed when he had to kill Owen, and dealing with Cynthia and the agency was hard enough. He didn’t want to have to talk to his mom and act like everything was fine, that he hadn’t just watched his lover die for the second time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He picked up the receiver. “Hey.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a pause, far too long, and Curt suddenly had the feeling that something had gone horribly wrong. “Mom?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a scratchy whispering, before it went silent again. Curt fidgeted, each second that passed making him more and more nervous. Then finally, the voice came through. It was scratchy and quiet, but unmistakable.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m still not dead, love.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this definitely is not my best, but I liked the ending and why not post it</p><p>also, how do we know it isn't a canon compliant ending, bc after all spies never die</p><p>check out my tumblr, @spies-always-die !</p><p>thanks!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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